Top 10 Yoga Jokes
1. Q: Did you hear that the wrestler Hulk Hogan has become a Yoga Teacher?
A: Yeah, but the problem is that he stands on your head!
2. Knock knock. Who's there? Yoga. Yoga who?
Yoga to try this, it feels amazing.
3. Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?
4. A very dedicated yoga practitioner heard about a Spiritual Teacher in the Himalayas who was said to know the ultimate meaning of life. The yogi spent about a year saving enough money and planning his trip. Finally he was able to fly to Nepal and hire some guides to lead him up the mountain to the cave where the Great Teacher resided. Along the way a storm struck and the guides turned back, but the yogai persevered and with his last bit of strength he crawled into the cave. "Great Master," he said, bowing, "I've come a long way to ask you a question. What's the meaning and purpsose of life?" The Master raised his index finger and proclaimed, "Life is a fountain." You mean I came all this way, and nearly killed myself making the effort, and all you have to tell me is that life is a foutain?" The Teacher thought for a few moments and said, "You mean life isn't a fountain?"
5. A student went to his Meditation Teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I constantly get distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm dozing off during my practice. It's really demoralizing!" "It will pass," the Teacher said matter-of-factly.
A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!" "It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.
6. The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.
7. Q: Can Yoga make my dreams come true?
A: Just s'pose
8. A brood of bats were hanging from the eves of a house, except for one who was standing upright on the edge of the gutter. "Hey, Bill," one of the bats called out. "What are you doing?" "Yoga," Bill said.
9. A Yogi went into Home Depot. A Sales Associate approached him and said, "Can I help you find something." "Well," the Yogi said. "I'm looking for my higher shelf. Also, I'm painting my bedroom and I'd like something with a mat finish."
10. Cosmic Joke: We don't get punished for our sins, but by them.
Ana Brett & Ravi Singh
www.raviana.com
Meditation of the month:
Stability and Prosperity Meditation
This is one of the top meditations in Kundalini Yoga to make dramatic breakthroughs when you feel stuck, or boxed in with no foreseeable options. It uses the mantra: Sa-Ta-Na-Ma-Ra-Ma-Da-Sa-Sa-Say-So-Hung. As you chant this, press your thumbtips and your index, middle, ring, and little fingertips progressively. In the course of this 12 syallable mantra, you'll be playing your fingers three times. Continue for 11 - 31 min. Your eyes are 1/10 open looking straight. You can use any melody with this mantra (which means: Existence, Life, Death, Rebirth, Sun, Moon, Earth, Infinity, I Am That Infinity I Belong To and Contain.) To end inhale stretch your arms up and tightening every muscle, stretch your body (still in a crosslegged position) every which way. Do this 3 - 5 times. Relax the breath and sit in silence for a minute, focusing on the tip of the nose, eyes 1/10 open. Then inhale hold the breath for 30 seconds and shake your body (do this 4x). Then inhale hold the breath for 20 seconds, and relax the breath and get out there and be great!
This powerful meditation is named after Ganesha, the elephant-headed god in the Hindu pantheon. Ganesha is a symbol for stability and prosperity. He is sometimes depicted riding a mouse which symbolizes the ability to get into inaccessible places and out of situations in which you feel there's no escape. This mantra is for healing, balance, creatvity, harmony, and flow.
source raviana yoga
Move Your Energy Forward
1. Work your Navel Chakra. Navel Power is indispensable when we are trying to put the brakes on a mode of living which doesn't work in favor of one that does. It also gives us the resolve and energy we need to break through to the new! Aim high! Visualize undreamt of outcomes. Give your intention a vision to rally around.
2. Vary your routine. Get in the habit of doing at least one thing different each day.
Travel if possible. Having new experiences and new input as well as temporary anonymity can provide impetus for a new you.
3. Move your body in ways you are not accustomed to. Dance! When you move your energy your life can move in new and surprising ways!
4. Travel light through life! Be ruthless and get rid of all the stuff you just don't need anymore. This will create a "psychic vacuum" for new experiences to fill.
5. Cultivate a new persona which is the best of you magnified. Getting unstuck doesn't mean you have to be someone else. Usually when people get stuck they are trying to be someone they're not. Give your self permission to be fully who you are and shine!
6. Create an inventory of the steps necessary towards fulfillment.rite down what you need to do and check off each accomplishment once its done!
7. Associate with people who inspire you, or who are already doing what you want to accomplish. Also, surround yourself with people who really believe in you.
8. Raise your frequency! Do Kundalini Yoga & meditation every day. These gifts are tools we can use to determine our own outcomes. When your inside changes, your outside follows.
9. Practice expressing yourself via the various chakras. Invariably when we're stuck we've gotten mired in the first chakra. There are rich and varied modes of being beyond the same old same old. Practice being them!
10. Don't stress about being stuck. Its part of life. It often feels like we are stuck while a new us is gestating deep inside. Get ready for the next round of adventures!
source raviana.com
Ganpati Kriya Meditation
This is one of the top meditations in Kundalini Yoga to make dramatic breakthroughs when you feel stuck, or feel that life has backed you into a corner. It uses the mantra: Sa-Ta-Na-Ma-Ra-Ma-Da-Sa-Sa-Say-So-Hung. As you chant this, press your thumbtips and your index, middle, ring, and little fingertips progressively. In the course of this 12 syllable mantra, you'll be playing your fingers three times. Continue for 11 - 31 min. Your eyes are 1/10 open looking down and in towards the tip of the nose. You can use any melody with this mantra (which means: Existence, Life, Death, Rebirth, Sun, Moon, Earth, Infinity, I Am That Infinity I Belong To and Contain.) To end inhale stretch your arms up and tightening every muscle, stretch your body (still in a cross legged position) every which way. Relax the breath and sit in silence for a minute.
This powerful meditation is named after Ganesha, the elephant-headed god in the Hindu pantheon. Ganesha is a symbol for stability and prosperity. He is always depicted with a mouse on his back which symbolizes the ability to get into inaccessible places and out of situations in which you feel there's no escape. This mantra is for healing, balance, creativity, harmony, and flow.
|
